Welcome to 2016

Hi Darlings! Yep, its 2016 y'all, happy new year.
I had an incredible 2015, marked by sweet achievements, painful lessons and new found beautiful friendships. I really thank God for everything I went through in 2015 and its with immense gratitude and humility that I welcome 2016 with open arms.I also congratulate you reading this post, for making it too, to 2016.
 May we take conscious actions to make our live better this year, give more, listen more and love more.
God bless.
Love always,
Tongryang

Dark Post: God Reached Down for Me

Hi everyone! Hope you all are doing good like I am. It’s been a while again ,but this time, I have good reason.

Hmm! How do I even start this? Ok, Lets see how this goes. this could pass for a testimony or just a recount of a rescue from a dark experience, lol whatever that means.

 I entered 2015 with a lot of plans, ideas to execute and energy to fire me through. Then barely 9weeks into the year, I was really sick, had pile and anal fissure and doctors were talking operation. Hmm? On my anus? My parents and bros wouldn’t hear of it, but I was in so much pain I thought if cutting my anus open will relieve me of the pain, well so be it.

I totally removed God’s healing as an option, imagine? I probably didn’t even think of it. Hmm! But God, because He loves me soooo much, came through for me and took the pains away. So my health was restored, but I felt muddled up, removed from my plans and pretty much confused where to begin from again. I don’t know exactly why well besides being soo broke but I was depressed, wouldn’t go out, read, write, talk much or do the things that I usually enjoy doing. I even stopped going for the radio show I volunteer as a presenter on. I literally shut down.  I was confused and by confused, I mean I had no idea what I was doing or what I would do next.  I really couldn’t think, so I just lazy around, slept pretty much most of the time, and watched movies whenever I could drag my mind to. It was a terrible experience and trust me, I am doing a bad job describing what It.

All through though, there was a small part of me that wasn’t ok with what I was doing to myself, that doesn’t think because things aren’t working according to plan, I should just lock up, and that kept feeding me with positivity. Gradually I started listening to messages, talks and watching inspiring videos and I started feeling better.  

It was during some of those days I feel better that I wrote my last two- three posts. And somehow, it was just me talking to myself trying to pull me out of the fear, confusion, self-pity and whatever it was I was dealing with at that time.

While all of that was going on, God was orchestrating something special, pulling a dream I strategically place to happen in the future to happen. During that time of sheer bleak, God reached down and pulled me out and set me on a path of happiness. I will share the good news in my next post, be expectant.

Thanks for stopping by.

Love, always.

Peep Talk with Tongryang: Rise above Fear

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend and ready for a productive week ahead.

So today, I want to talk about fear and I hope this speaks to someone today.

Fear happens to the best of us. Fear is a scared little being that bullies into surrender its victims for fear of being killed by action. Yeah! Fear fears too.  It’s a false feeling of something gloomy looming to happen, if we dare take a step or action. I say its false because always, when you push yourself beyond that negative feeling and do what you are so afraid of, it turns out there was nothing really sinister waiting to happen. Photo credit: personalitytutor.com

Fear comes in different forms and in different degrees. There is fear of failure, fear of under achieving, fear of public speaking, fear of crowd, fear of success and a host of others.

For me, I had been severely short-changed by the fear of success. Yes, you heard right. I have always had incredible believe in myself and my ability to pull off any thing I set to achieve but, thing is, I would not allow myself, I was scared of succeeding, I was scared of all the changes and adjustment my life will take if I succeeded. It took a long time, a lot of efforts; unlearning and relearning to overcome that negativity.

You might be reading this, and you are at the verge of refusing to take on your dream for one fear or the other, darling listen, its ok to fear; acknowledge it even, but it’s unacceptable to buckle under it. Rise up, face fear and watch it diminish into nothingness.

Thanks for stopping by.

Love, always.

Tongryang.

What is Wrong with the World?

 Photo credit: madamenoire.com

What is wrong with the world? I don’t mean the earth that wombs us all, but the inhabitants of the world; the world’s people.
 
Why has life, which is sacred, suddenly become worthless? People killing each other on the flimsiest and the most mundane excuse?

Why have the world’s people suddenly feel a need to help God? I mean, to protect Him and expand for God? How silly can that be? Killing, for God?

How can some people even dare explain killing others because they feel threatened by their success as if the power to strive and create doesn’t reside in every one of us?
How can another’s struggle to survive even threaten you except you have a deeply rooted problem only you can solve?
What does xenophobia even mean? I mean I get the meaning, I just checked it again in 5 different dictionaries but I still don’t get why its enough reason to hack down, butcher and burn another.

I mean, I don’t even understand the anger, jealousy and hate that have elegantly found expression on social media. What was our world like again before Facebook, Twitter and Instagram? Where did this bitterness emerge from? I mean the one we direct at each other; bullying, tiring and dragging? How come we suddenly don’t know how to be happy with other, how to compliment and simply pour out love?

When did we lose our sense of humour? Why do we find it difficult to laugh? Has our lips all cracked, bleeding with deep wounds, we can’t afford to push it further? I mean, a deep throaty hearty laughter heals, it heals the soul.

When have we suddenly become ashamed to look at each other? Have we all suddenly become ugly, we are afraid to look at our ugliness? Since when did we begin to prefer desperately peering at our phones than to look at each other?

How did we come about accepting being ashamed of looking at each other but shameless in sharing our naked selves online and offline?

What happened to dignity of self? Self-value and respect for one another? Since when have women become comfortable birthing children for men not ready to do right by them? Since when has it even become acceptable, even fashionable?

Why are we not satisfied with ourselves anymore? Why do we desperately need to enlarge, enhance and retouch?

Since when did we begin to change our genitalia like the clothes we wear? So now, we can simply decide to change not just our orientation, preference but our sex?

When exactly did children, even babies become sexy? That an adult can even fathom, talk less go ahead and abuse them? Why did we even create the word paedophile? We seem to acknowledge, accept and partake in maiming our babies by simply using the word.

I mean what exactly has gone wrong with the world?

My head aches, my heart breaks whenever I contemplate finding answers to these questions and a lot more like them that won’t just let my pretty head be. Somebody got answers? Help me understand please. What is wrong with our world?

 

Thanks for stopping by.

Love, always.

Tongryang

 

Back to Normal

Hi everyone! Hope ya all are doing great like I am… Yeah! I believe so.

 It’s been a bit. Well, more than a bit actually, it’s been a long long time since I posted anything here and honestly, my excuses are just excuses and I won’t bore you with them.

So, a lot of water has passed under the bridge right? Yeah! If you are a Nigerian or live in Nigeria, you’d know a lot has happened.  

Firstly, the thick fog hovering over Nigeria prior to our general elections has cleared up and life has pretty much returned to normal. You know, prior to the elections, lots of Nigerians travelled back to their home states and practically placed their lives on hold, but thank God, things are returning to normal.

 Photo credit: risenetwork.org

 

Ok, let me give you gist, you know how before the elections, there were predictions and counter predictions of Nigeria splitting; dividing as a result of crisis that would erupt at the tail of the elections? Ehen! Then, I formed a prayer point: God disgrace and disappoint everyone that has predicted or that is planning evil against your country Nigeria. It was one of my major prayer points during my church’s 21 days prayer and fasting in January and boi! Did God answer me or not? My darlings, God chose to answer my prayers and he disgraced and disappointed those agents of doom wishing my country evil by granting us peaceful elections. Yes ke, I sell fish like that, taking all the credit for praying for  peaceful elections... Anyways, I am beyond happy with the outcome of the elections in Nigeria, as power has returned (if it ever belonged) to the masses. Nigerians came out en masse and voted, and their votes counted; that is the dawn of a new day.
Now, the process wasn’t totally free from hitches but it was above average and will certainly get better with time. For that, I am grateful.

So, away from election matters, a lot of you lovely people reached out to me, asking why I abandoned the blog again. Truth is, I really didn’t. Lots of things happened, I was even sick for a while but i am ok now and I just want to thank you all for reaching out during my absence.

I have being thinking of ideas to make the blog even better for your reading pleasure, so be expectant.

Thanks for stopping by.

Love, always.

Tongryang

 

Dairy of her Full-ish Life: Floated

I remember the way I felt after the break up drama- rejected, dejected and like a failure... I desperately wanted it to work. I wanted to prove to myself that I can make it work, but for where? I spoilt it. Oh! Wait a minute; did I say I spoilt it? Hell to the no! dude was blind. This is a recent development thou, my realising he is blind.  It’s a pretty recent development. I had blamed, tortured and hated myself for the all the while. I didn’t know where to draw the line, between taking responsibility for one’s action and outright self-blame.

 It was crazy, I was crazy. I floated by, taking note of nothing, letting go  of myself. 

Peep Talk with Tongryang: Thinking

 

 

Hi everyone! Hope you are doing well and having a great time?

 If this is your first time of visiting this blog, I’d say thank you for stopping by and welcome to my world. Here, I share my opinion about all things that concerns me not.
Today, I start the Peep Talk Series proper.

 The Peep Talk with Tongryang series is a platform where I get to share simple tips and information for people to utilize, to start living their dreams, identify life’s purpose and start-up businesses. I am all for living life to the fullest and this is my way of encouraging people to start living life as against just existing. It is actually a repeat of a segment I present on InnocentMinds Radio Show (a personal development show I co-host) in Jos.

So a listener contacted me on Facebook saying,” how can someone who does not know his purpose or who doesn’t have a dream but want to start something know what to do”… I told the person to start engaging in a mental activity that can direct, and give pointers. This mental activity is thinking.

 

Photo credit: www.shutterstock.com

 Yep! You heard read right. Just chill a little thou, because by thinking, I don’t mean worrying or randomly fantasying. Let me clarify-thinking is a mental activity aimed at getting understanding/ clarification. Worrying is tormenting self about a particular thing (my definition of course). So while thinking seeks to understand and solve, worrying seeks to indulge in self-pity.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE THINKING

You know you are thinking when you seek to understand something that happened or happens with the aim of proffering solutions. For instance, you reside in a neighbourhood where all the females drop out of school at a particular age. Then you set out time and think about the possible cause(s) and what you can do to be different- to go ahead complete your studies and do something for yourself and community. You are thinking, when you constantly seek ways to proffer solution to problems, when you seek ideas to do things differently even in the midst of difficult situations and failing systems

HOW THINKING CAN BE A POINTER

Now, take note of what you are always thinking about, the area that your thoughts constantly tilt towards. When you sit and unconsciously start thinking about the same thing over and over again, It could be an indication of where your interest and where your life’s work lies.    

Disturbing Trend

Hi Everyone!
Hope you are all doing well today and having weekend like I am. Its amazing how God brings people you only see on TV to your door step and you even interact. Ok! am a sucker for personal development, nothing can take away its importance in my life. In Nigeria, when you think personal development, you think people like Fela Durutoye, Lanre Olushola, Adeolu Akinyemi and a host of others... I reside in Jos and these guys reside and do their major work in Lagos so I get to only read about them or watch them on tv or tapes, but in the recent past, God has made my path cross with the Phenomenal Fela Durutoye and eccentric-amazing Adeolu Akinyemi... I will write a post soon, on my encounter with these great men working to impact lives and make Nigeria a better place .
Today, I want to share a post from a Doctor who happens to be my friend on social media. Its on the very disturbing trend of rape, rape of children especially. I cried helplessly reading this, at the shear evil our world has become and how our children are being maimed daily. I fear for us all. Please lets be vigilant with adults around our young ones and generally be sensitive to their every movement. The world is an evil mess right now. Dr Fabong Jemchang's piece-

"THE TRIVIALIZATION OF EVIL II"
What I saw yesterday at the emergency took my breaths for more than 120 seconds.
A 4 year old was brought into the casualty. In my usual way, I make it a point of duty to always pass by even when I am not on duty. Then I saw this father who was so tired and helpless. It was 8pm.
He told me that his daughter is bleeding. I asked from where? He said her private part. I asked how? He said he left them at home and went to the farm. On returning at 5pm, he saw blood around and did not pay attention. But he noticed after an hour that his daughter (the 4 year old, who is deaf and dumb from an earlier illness) was sitting uncomfortably. On raising her, he saw a pool of blood.
He rushed to the general hospital and they hadnt no bed space. So he came to our facility. On further examination, I saw what I could not believe my eyes.
There was evidence of bruising and penetration. The hymen was turned. She was bleeding torrentially. She was pale and highly irritable. I had to summon Dr Makpu Jireh Dan to help. Dr Musa also came inn. We were able to arrest bleeding and this child was admitted.


We lost our peace throughout the whole night. Thinking what on earth will inform the decision of this rapist to do the unthinkable. So, we have degenerated to this level and children are now victimized?
Within the last 4 years of my practice, I have recorded 17 cases. Yesterday being the 18th. The youngest of my client was 16months ( 1 year 4 months) old.
Is Nigeria now better that South Africa, the rape capital of the world or are we competing? Truth is we have lost our sense of humanity.
To those who do this, I do not know what to say.
Our society have covered for rapists in the past because of the cultural implications. Some cases are settled within families. But that is an indirect way of supporting this evil act.
If you are my friend and a judge, please do not let rapist go free. If found wanting, give the maximum sentence to get justice to our mothers and daughters.
If you are a police officer who is investigating an alleged rape, please carryout you duty to a logical conclusion. If you take bribe to let them go, well what goes around comes around.
If you are a clergy who was called to settle this issue, I do not know what to say now....... But see that these victims get justice.
If you are a clan head, village head or chief, please ensure justice is served.
The most annoying part is this victims can hardly identify these demons. This deaf and dumb is peculiar. That why I am writing.
To our parents, please do not leave your children carelessly. Some parents take their children with them to the farms.
MALE CHILDREN ARE ALSO BEING RAPED THESE DAYS. Please ask you children questions. Examine their genitals and anus when bathing them. Empower your children to speak out and encourage them to be bold to say things out.
Also watch out for house helps who may in turn be child molesters.
This act is the banality of evil.
Great God deliver us.....

Back to Stay!

Hi everyone! Hope ya all are doing great? And having the best life has to offer?... Well, even if you aren’t, keep looking up to God cause soon enough, things will become better.

 I am excited am back doing my thing. My system became faulty and no one could repair it, had to replace it and it took forever to get that done. But, I thank God and the one whom He used to help get me a new system.

I want to thank those who reached out to me during this very long break from blogging and those who sent in messages to find out if am ok- I am great guys, thanks.

I remember I started this blog to share my thought on different issues as it comes to my mind (Oh yey! Am quite opinionated, thank you very much) and also, to horn my writing skills (yep! before my time is up on earth, I will write a book- on what? Time will tell). I don’t know if I have done that so far and neither do I know what the content of the blog will be like, from now on, but am sure of one thing, am introducing a new segment, which will be featuring once a week. The new segment is called Peep Talk with Tongryang. Ok, this is actually a written form of my segment on The InnocentMinds Radio Show (a personal development radio show) I volunteer as a co-host in Jos. This is a platform where I get to encourage people to start out there dreams, help them with tips to help discover purpose, give tips to start-up businesses etc. This is an area am very passionate about and I am bringing it here, to reach more people and push them to start living  s4zszsw3qz    their dreams cause the right time is now. There is always going to be challenges and things working contrary to what you want, but regardless of what is happening or what has happened to you, I urge you to push on and to launch out NOW. That is the new segment I will be introducing to this blog. So each week, I will share what I discussed on air right here. I am super excited already.

I will try to be faithful to this blog from now on and I urge you all to support me with your comments and contributions as this will spur me to keep on.

Thank you very much for stopping by today, have fun and take care.

 

Blogspiration for Today: My Doughnut Customer’s call

 

Hi everyone! Hope your day was great? Mine was.  

First things first, this post is overdue. Yah! Thought to get that out of the way. Secondly, this post might be long and as boring as my life is right now. Toh! Just thought I should warn before you dive in. Lol

Okay, now to the gist. I received a call from someone very special two days ago and I have been basking in the excitement since. The call is actually the inspiration for this post (that’s how I came about the post’s title) and no, the call wasn’t from a “toaster” and I still don’t have a boyfriend, thank you very much... Remember in my last post I told you I went through a catering training before I left for service? So during my service year, I decided to start a small business. I madke doughnuts, package it and supplied to shops in Akwanga town. (I served in a village called Andaha, it’s about 10minutes drive to Akwanga town in Nasarawa state).

Thing is, when I started, most of the shop owners I approached refused to collect my doughnuts (even with the prospect of staying in there shop and making cool 10naira on each doughnut oo), saying “it won’t sell”, “they no go buy”, “here na village” (lol) but this man (the one I call “my park costumer”) accepted to sell my doughnuts without any complain and beyond that, his entire family accepted me completely. He sold my doughnuts everyday till I passed out. During the period, this man and his wife became like family. The wife even connected me with a driver that plies Andaha-Akwanga route and he conveyed my doughnuts from Andaha to Akwanga free of charge, he also (the one I call “my bro”), became family. Once, when I fell ill and had to go home, they called me everyday till I returned. Times when I wanted to give up on the business cause of the stress and narrow profit margin, this man or his wife will call me and encourage me. At times when “market no move” and the doughnut will grow fungus, they will, in a soothing manner console me and tell me”this week market no dey but next week, e go better”. I mean these guys took me like their daughter-worrying about my health and safety, complimenting my new hairdo and stuff like that-If that’s not love, tell me what is… It was this man, the owner of the first provision store in front of Andaha Park; the husband of the woman I call aunty, that dark Igbo papa that always smiles and call me Corper shun- he was the one that called me two days ago. He called to find out how my parents and I are faring and prayed for me to get a job soon. That was the second time he has called me since I returned home and that call made me feel so loved that I thought I should share my excitement his call brought to my soul with you all.

By the way, today, I fried fish and it didn’t scatter in the oil. In the past, my attempts at frying fish have always ended in disaster (the oil or fish[I don’t know which] making bomb like sounds, oil flying everywhere staining the kitchen walls and scalding anyone in sight, the fish disintegrating, turning out like sauteed shredded fish ) but today, everything came out whole, tasty and properly fried. It made me super excited.

Am Back

Hi Everyone! It has been ages since I last blogged and I have countless reasons why, but I would not bug you with all that, instead let me fill you in on what’s being happening with me.

 Firstly, am a confirmed Nigerian graduate now (Uhum! Raises eyebrows, does a little pout and shakes head). I have finally completed my one year compulsory national youth service corps NYSC oo. It wasn’t easy, but I thank the Lord.    

Hmm! Is the NYSC serving its purpose? Should it be scrapped or restructured?  Someday, (soon, I hope) I will do a blog post to give my take on those questions, based on my experience.

OK! During the course of my service year, the relationship I entered, just before I went for service, crashed; like my much loved HP mini laptop, it crashed. Imagine? Good news is, I was strong this time around. I cried less and moved on faster. You see, since my relationships have decided to be crashing anyhow like an over used Bold 6, I have vowed to keep moving on without missing them. Lol. It’s not that easy sha oo, but right now, I care less(actually, sometimes I do care) about men and their wahala.

Again, during the course of my long absence from this blog, I decided to pursue one of the things am passionate about, catering. Oh yes! I know. Some of my friends from Uni days will be reading this and be like “catering, passion ke”? I could count the number of times I cooked real food while in school. I practically lived on noodles, Mama Blessing’s fried yam and chips and well, good ole garri. Suffice to say, there is no recipe that yours truly can’t concoct.

I also embarked on a HHJ (Healthy Hair Journey). So am practically obsessed with my hair right now. I never used to care of my hair, (that’s when I allow it grow) because I was always on low cut. I recently found out you can grow African hair to whatever length you desire if you created a regimen and follow it religiously. I read up about hair on-line and started a HHJ and so, my hair has greatly improved and has started showing signs of growing.

Finally, during the course of my absence here, terrible things happened to our beloved country Nigeria. Boko Haram’s incessant violent and tragic attacks, abduction of over 200 young girls, corruption and blatant cluelessness of the country has left me in despair at worst and in a wicked limbo at best. You see, I love Nigeria so much that I constantly hurt whenever I hear or read about the evil that is Boko Haram, so I don’t listen to news anymore nor read any Boro Haram news online... Our country is at her most trying time, lets pray, work and hope that things get better. May God help us all, amen.

Crushing

Hi dearies, hope you are all doing good today
Its rained all through the night in Jos and is so cold here, how's your end?
I stumbled into the video Glo XFactor audition held in Abuja yesterday and dear, it left me with a huge crush for that short black dude, Jude Abaga aka MI. Lawd goodness, i saw him without shades  on that show and his eyes, they are something; big, clear and beautiful. The eyes tell a different story from the hard rapper facade he puts on,( and i totally like*straightface*)no wonder he likes to wear shades.

Watch this video and see him,his eyes and the way he moves them.*WINKS*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RjjMX1zhaSU
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=tcAD9JTG0oY

Leila Djansi's Sinking Sands

Hi everyone! Hope you are all doing good today. See, that you are able to pick your phone or system to surf the net at this time is a great gift and privilege form God. I say this with a deep sense of understanding of what i am talking about and deep sense of gratitude for health and life. I fall sick during the course of last week and it wasn't a good experience. I just thank the Lord for being here right now.
Ok, so i watched a couple of movies on iroko tv while on my sick bed and i watched this one that totally blew my mind. The movie is titled Sinking Sands.
 
 See, from the story to the production, to the acting, costume and every little detail of the movie, is on point. Watching it, i mistook it for an African American movie;well, maybe because the lead actor is  Jimmy Jean-Louis, the guy from Monique's Phat Girls and the clarity of the pictures and subtle acting, but after watching it, i checked and found out that the movie was directed by a young Ghanian film maker named Leila Djansi and aside Jimmy Jean-Loius, every other actor is African.
The movie is the tragic story of an orphan girl, who married a man that loved her so much up till two weeks of their wedding when an accident occurs in the kitchen leaving the husband burnt and scared. He soon changes from the good, loving man that he was to an abusive, brutal and unforgiving man who wallows in self pity and finds pleasure in beating and sexually abusing his wife. Pabi, his wife, initially ditched her dream of becoming a school principal to stay and try make him happy and make her marriage work, but she soon finds out that her husband will never change and if she continues staying, he would killing her, so she leaves him to find herself and live again. 
Its a very good(though sad) story with lots of lessons and i think every one should watch it. Plus if Africa keeps churning out movies like this, trust me we are headed for the Grammy...You can watch the movie on www.irokotv.com and tell me what you think, okay.  
Well, that's what i wanted to share with you today. So, as you go out there to make the best of the week, don't forget to always thank God for life and health. Take care.

A Word For You

Hi everyone! Hope you are all having yourselves a great Sunday.
I came across a word that spoke to me today, and thought i should share.
Before i share, its a verse about doing good to people consistently and "untiredly".You know, if you are the first child in your home for instance, you cant even help it, you must give, give and give(material and otherwise)whether you like it or not. Plus, if have a heart like mine that feels like the burdens of others is automatically mine, you would know that it gets tiring sometimes, but, here is word for you: